Nepal, Kathmandu 3 (Welcome and Unwelcome Surprises)

November 9, 2010

Last night Michael recommended the place he was staying at. According to him, it had nice staff, a friendly atmosphere and, the deciding factor for me, internet access. So Thijs and I moved from the Hotel Yanki to the Elbrush Hotel on the other side of Kathmandu-Thamel.

I spent the rest of the day running a few errands, getting ferried around by cycle rickshaw. As luck would have it, I suddenly ran into Lars again – my room neighbour from the youth hostel in Xi’an. Of course, a surprise like that had to be celebrated.

We arranged to meet in the evening for a healthy barley juice and picked a pub by the sound of it. The tourists were literally dancing on the tables while a Nepalese band played Heavy Metal and Rock ’n’ Roll in the background. Unusual, but actually pretty good. Later, as we were heading out in search of a new venue, we got a surprise. A Nepalese youth came bounding up and greeted us most warmly. “Hey friend, how are you? Good to find you again. What’s up?” OK, I thought, must be someone Lars knows, so I’ll be friendly.

The three of us went on to the next bar and chatted a bit. Suddenly it turned out that Lars had initially thought exactly the same about our new acquaintance – and, well, I wasn’t an old friend of the Nepali boy either. So there we were, sitting in a bar with our new best friend between us, wondering what the guy actually wanted. When the bill came, that quickly became clear. Sadly, we didn’t fall for the trick and simply failed to grasp that we were supposed to pay for him. The owner got a bit riled up at our friend, which didn’t faze us in the least. The two obviously knew each other, so the landlord should have known what kind of character was sitting between us.
Despite not getting his drinks paid for, our new friend had become damn clingy. By now, though, it was nearly half past two in the morning, and at some point even the most exciting evening comes to an end. We walked Lars to his accommodation, and I was going to head back to my hotel by cycle rickshaw. My biggest fan, however, absolutely insisted on coming with me – I couldn’t possibly be alone in Kathmandu at night… … Well, my attempts to shake him off didn’t work, so he plonked himself down next to me on the seat – after all, you want to believe in the good in people. Still, during the ride I kept my hands on the pockets with my wallet and camera. Even though the fellow hadn’t had all that much to drink, he acted drunk and got uncomfortably clingy. “Hey, you are my best friend!” …he put his arm around my shoulder. “You are so cool! I can help you to show around.” …and got right up close to me. My answer was less friendly, because he was really getting on my nerves: “Listen, I’m not gay, so please keep your distance or go away! You understand?” “Ok, ok, brother, sorry” …he said, shifting position a little but still keeping his arm around my shoulder. “And, I’m NOT your brother!" …I replied, now clearly annoyed by his pushiness. I took his arm off my shoulder and pushed him away – and suddenly, quite suddenly, I noticed the zip on my sweater. Never, ever do I open my zipped pockets in unfamiliar places. So why was the left pocket of my sweater suddenly open? Without even checking whether anything was missing, I snapped at him with words I’d rather not repeat in public. The rickshaw driver stopped immediately to see what was going on. My pal answered with a look of sheer horror: “Hey brother, I’m not a thief, I didn’t steal you. I like you. You’re my best friend. I’ve nothing from you. Believe me. I’m honest.” But since I was pretty sure my pocket hadn’t opened by itself and that his advances had obviously served this one purpose only, I didn’t let up, and I made that unmistakably clear to him. When he saw there was no way out, he slowly reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out a pack of tissues – my tissues! I was speechless. Had the idiot really nicked my tissues??! If he’d asked, I’d gladly have given them to him, but like this… Besides, he surely hadn’t intended to stop there. Baffled, I grabbed my tissues and, just in case, told him to hand over everything else as well. The rickshaw driver had realised how serious the situation was, stepped in to help and searched the guy. From his expression, though, I could tell the guy had nothing else on him. This evening had probably been a flop for him. Indignant, I told him to go find himself a decent job, thanked the rickshaw driver for his help and walked the last few metres to the hotel.
*knock*knock* I rapped on the gate. Still irritated, I grumbled to myself and waited for the night watchman to open up. Suddenly I felt a light slap on my backside. “Hey Sweetie, how are you?” I heard an attractive female voice say. Startled, I turned around and only managed “What???”. In front of me stood two really good-looking women of around 25 who didn’t look like prostitutes in the slightest. “Hey, you look so cute, common let’s go for a drink together.” As she said it, she looked me up and down and ran her tongue over her lips. “What?” – I really couldn’t say anything else. What on earth is going on here, I thought. “Common Sweetie, I like you, I like you a lot.” …she replied, grabbing my hip. Holy moly – laugh or cry, that was the question. She looked really attractive and obviously knew what she wanted… “Uhhh, I like your body and your sweet face.” she cooed …but still… there was no way I was taking any unnecessary risks… Besides, I couldn’t say anything but “What?” anyway. By now the lady had come alarmingly close and my back was already pressed against the bars of the gate. When on earth is the night watchman going to show up? Or should I risk it? No, not on your life! She put both hands on my hips and breathed into my ear “Honey, please touch me, please, you’re so attractive.” – Stop! – Pause for thought – What on earth is going on here? – Please put yourselves in my shoes. A few minutes ago I was almost robbed, and now a pretty stranger is all over me and wants to get me into bed right here on the street in the middle of the night. Is there a hidden camera somewhere??? Can this possibly be topped? …
“Hey, hey!” I heard someone shout from behind the gate, and the night watchman came running to let me in. Relieved, I slipped through and heard in the background “Hey Sweetie, come back, we can have a lot of fun, you’re so cute, please come back, I like you a lot, we both can show you unforgettable things.” I turned around, looked at the two beauties and just thought, yes, I bet you can – but it’s still too risky for me. The night watchman turned to me with a grave face and, with just a few words, plunged me into a state of indescribable fear: “Sir, you must be careful. This are gents.” … … … … … … … … … … … … “WHAT???!!!” (Somehow that was all I’d been able to say for the last few minutes.) I turned around and looked at the two of them, still calling after me at the gate. They really didn’t look like members of the male sex. “Sir, ladyboy, sir.” the watchman added.
Completely shocked and trembling, I made my way up the stairs. What would have happened if the night watchman hadn’t opened the gate in time? Somehow the two trans women’s extremely forward come-on left me feeling almost violated. Thijs was still awake. My pulse racing, I told him what had happened over the past ten minutes. …how much can a person go through in such a short time… I lay in bed wide awake, staring at the ceiling. The next morning I was still stunned by the night before, but could already laugh about it. At the “time of the crime” and for hours afterwards, though, I was genuinely shaken. Well, little by little I’m moving deeper and deeper into other cultures, and this certainly wasn’t the last unforgettable experience of my trip…

Further reading:

1. Cycle rickshaw – Standard means of transport in large parts of Asia
2. Barley juice – A popular drink in Germany and elsewhere
3. Heavy Metal – The music genre of heavy metals
4. Rock ’n’ Roll – Protest music from the “U.S. and A”
5. Ladyboy – Between the sexes